By Les Huysmans

Photo adapted from Pexels.com

Parents often ask me how they should proceed with their children playing on the phone or tablet too often. They have read or heard some advice but cannot make a decision, because of three reasons. First, there is so much advice available. Second, which of it is actually true? Third, which of it is really applicable to their child’s situation. So let us try to answer these questions.

Parenting in today’s digital age presents new challenges, particularly in ensuring the safety and well-being of children both offline and online. The use of technology and screens is a complex issue that requires a nuanced approach.

The question of how much screen time is appropriate is not a simple one, and various factors must be taken into account. The type of digital media and specific content, the child’s individual characteristics, the motivations behind using technology, the setting, the amount of time spent on different activities, and family values all play a role in determining the appropriate balance for each child. This balance is best viewed as a “digital diet,” with the goal of finding a healthy balance between technology use and other diverse experiences.

The timing of a child’s access to technology is also a key consideration. It is now recommended that children under 13 should not have social media accounts, and research has shown the potential risks associated with both social media use and gaming, although gaming definitely DOES have significant benefits. Before granting a child access to technology, parents should carefully research the specific apps and games, as well as the child’s individual characteristics and motivations. Access to technology can be built up over time, starting with basic functions and gradually increasing as the child demonstrates maturity.

To ensure that children receive the guidance they need, families can create a technology plan, which outlines when devices can and cannot be used, the types of digital media that are acceptable, and communication restrictions, among other things. These plans should be tailored to your family’s unique needs and values.

Here are some suggestions for limits which you can adapt to your personal family situation:

1. Devices can be used:
   • After homework
   • Before dinner
2. Devices will not be used:
   • Before school
   • During meals
   • Right before bed
   • For longer than 60 minutes (adapt according to age/maturity level) per day, so choose carefully what you want to use it for!
3. Devices must take a break every:
   • 30 minutes for internet use
   • 1 hour for TV use
4. Acceptable digital media:
   • YouTube Kids
   • Exercise videos, etc.
   • Games approved by a parent
5. Acceptable forms of communication:
   • Only with individuals known to the child and approved by a parent
6. Response to harmful content:
   • Show the device and the content to a parent immediately
   • Have a conversation about the experience and emotions
7. Technology usage locations:
   • Common spaces in the house
   • Not in bedrooms alone
   • Devices “sleep” in the parents’ room overnight

It may seem like a lot of work, but once it is set up, a well-thought-out plan can really ensure the safety and well-being of children. By balancing technology use with other experiences, monitoring the types of digital media and content, and creating a family technology plan, parents can provide their children with the guidance they need to navigate the digital world.

If you want to protect your child but it feels like you do not know where to start, feel free to contact me. You can find my contact details on the About Les-page